Among Men - A flashback to my first year working on a Hotshot Crew.

I found a piece I wrote more than 20 years ago. It features one critical name, a couple fire agencies and crews but more importantly it points out a critical tip surrounding men and women working together. 

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Transcript

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Hey there. Welcome back to another episode with me, Abby Bolt. I am just wanting to say hello. Happy New Year. Welcome to 2020. And I am seriously looking forward to all of the upcoming content that we have for this year. Now, who doesn't love to fill their holidays and their new year season with moving? I mean, I don't know about you, but it's huh? Totally one of my most favorite things. You're not quite, but I've been moving things from basically one storage ing it to another, and I decided thio excess some stuff. So that means going through boxes hand. Of course, for me, it always means pausing every five minutes to go through old pictures final, you know, letters, all kinds of things. I mean, I found so much stuff that I haven't taken time to go back through all of the different times that I've moved in my career. And I came across something that I kind of think I might have written it when I was on ski patrol in the winter. But I can't remember for sure, and I was breezing through it. I haven't even read it all yet and I'm going to read it for the first time in 20 years. Right here with you. I can just see that It it very much looks like something that ties into where I'm at right now, reflecting back on my career as a woman in firefighting. So what is it? I can't completely promise you, uh, bear with me, but also, keep in mind I was probably 19 or 20 maybe 21 when I wrote this. And, gosh, I don't know, So I'm not even sure what I did with it. Like if I just wrote it for myself. If I submitted to something, maybe it was for a college class. I'm not quite sure. So anyway, enjoy this, you know, Um but don't make fun of me. Let's just see where it takes us. One thing is for sure that it's transparent. It's true. It's definitely a piece of my personal life. It looks like, and I don't think has the names in it, though I don't I think it just references. Um, people, Maybe it does reference cruise and agencies in here, but either way, let's just see what it has to say. So I titled it among men. I come from a small town with a lot of Forest Service and BLM stations while growing up. There were a lot of kids that had parents who lived the fire life, and they soon followed After high school. I was not sure what I wanted to. D'oh! I knew I needed to go to college, but I just did not have my heart set on a certain career. Because of that. My motivation was not high fire careers did always interest me, though as a young girl I remember seeing a woman on a hot shot crew. I thought, Wow, I wish I could do that someday and side note, um, off of my writing here. Looking back, that was Karen CAFTA. She if you know her in the wild land world. She's a great gal. And I remember the day that I saw her running with a hot shot crew and I was just like, Wow, but just like everyone else, I thought I was just a girl, and that would never happen. I was taking regular classes at the local junior college and decided Thio throw in for a fire science class just to have a little variety I could not have remember being that excited about ever going to a class. I look forward to it every time. It was so interesting and exciting to me. I actually started to believe that even if I was just a girl, maybe I really could do fire. I found a way to get my basic 32 training and started to look for a good rookie job. Idiot Fuels Crew would be a good start Come to find out there was a position on a local hotshot crew camera. A a rookie girl in a shot crew? I don't think so. The Forest Service supervisor who had given me my training kept encouraging me to apply. I finally gave in thinking there might be a chance. I applied, interviewed, and my surprise was offered a job. The crew consisted of 20 other men. I was so nervous I never before it faces types of challenges. I was surrounded by men who didn't know what to think of me somewhere. Inviting others wouldn't even look at me. I've I was new and I didn't know what the heck I was doing. Guidance was needed for my peers but only were only a few were willing to offer. My boyfriend at the time made it plain that he did not approve of me working with all these men, there was no way I was gonna let his jealousy discourage me. Being on this crew was one of the hardest things that I had ever done. I'm not talking about the physical challenges I'm talking about the mental ones put on me by the guys who did not want me there. It was all the typical put downs name calling, pushing me while we were at a lot. Why we were lined out throwing things at me, just making crude statements to see if they could get me to cry. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't cry and I wouldn't leave. There were those who were my friends. They would also laugh when a joke was made. I think some of them were just mad because they couldn't have their playboys on the buggies while I was there, even though many of them dead, there was one guy who would shove the pictures in my face. But I just close my eyes like nothing was happening that would really make it mad. I will admit it. When I came to the crew, I was not a very good hiker. I had never hiked like that before. Later in the season, when I passed eight of them on our PT run, they were the ones that were made fun, fun of. One of our model leaders even made the eight guys run an extra mile because a girl past them, that really made me smile inside. I had one guy even tell me that the reason he would hardly talk to me was because the fear of having the rest of crew make it make fun of him. I found it hard to believe that a grown man was that affected by peer pressure. Toward the end of this season, a couple of crew members realized what I was going through, their apologies so late. We're greatly appreciated. At our last fire this season, those same guys started noticing a certain member of the crew who was treating the unexceptional, oblique, cruel, cruel, some hazing, though it's not. See what I see here. Some hazing, though it's not right, is expected. This is beyond that. His actions were ridiculous. We were all at lunch one day and I was sitting in a seat that he thought he should be sitting in to be closer to all of his buddies in front of the whole crew. He called me a disgusting name. I was so used to this from him that it didn't even stunned me. One of the guys who apologized earlier jumped up and got in his face. What do you think you're doing? You can't talk to her like that. You have absolutely no reason, Thio. I cannot believe that one of them were actually defending me. Another continued with Hey, man, don't you know you could be sued for crap like that? The accused member only replied with So what? I would never go that far. I didn't need a court case to prove myself to a bunch of men. I like my job. I liked it so much that I even thought about having it as a career, and I was planning to go back to the same crew the next season until a friend of mine mentioned applying for the keen flight crew helicopter. 555 triple nickel. It's an interagency flight crew, half BLM and half Kern County Fire Department. Very unique. I definitely did not think I'd get a job there. Everyone wanted to be on triple nickel. I thought, Heck, why not? I didn't think I'd be able to get on the shot crew, either. Once I applied interview and like everyone else does call the soup and like everyone else does call the soup all the time. So let him know that I really wanted the job. I anxiously awaited the phone call and it finally came. I had gotten the job. I was so excited. Everyone wanted to be on this crew and I made it. I just knew it would be the same old thing. A bunch of guys who didn't want me there. I was wrong. They became the greatest bunch of guys I ever knew. They're also positive. I was not treated like some girl. I was treated like one of the crew members. There were never any put downs. Well, maybe joking ones. Pony and fun. When we would go on her hikes in the morning, we would yell out things like Go keen! Good job saws, just like any team would never things to put each other down. If someone was having a bad hike day, they would just encourage him or her to push harder to the top. Being on this crew made me really appreciate working with men. I grew to care for them like family. They were the big brothers I never had. I proved to them that I could work just as hard as they could. When I became one of the saws, they didn't know what to think. As a woman on a fire crew, it is very challenging, but it is the best move I ever made. I finally know what I want to do with the rest of my life to all those women out there. Don't let those guys get you down. And guys, don't underestimate the women who work beside. Give them a chance. They could inspire you, Abby Bowl Keen flight crew. So that was, like, 20 or 21 years ago. Just hearing, um, guys, there's so many memories at that, like, there's so many details that I left out and so much stuff, But, um, the part where I said as a woman on a fire crew was very challenging, but it's the best move I ever made. And I finally know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Crap. I didn't know that reading this was gonna hit me like that. It's just that looking back at my such younger self, like back before, it was even old enough to drink just the inspiration and the feeling of being in fire and and having those experiences that made me realize what I wanted to do as a career God, that's a valuable. It's so valuable. And it wasn't because it was easy. Still not easy. And look what I've had to do to stand up for myself and for others and to give a lot of things up. Hey, look back. It just pushed, like when you're just a ground pounder in the beginning and you're not even allowed to touch a radio and you just shut up and dig in, take in the scenery and taking the experiences in the hard work and sweat and the blood and the tears and assault in your eyes. And just that feeling of that that beginning in the innocents in the appreciation for the little things I miss that I miss those years, years before laptops and paperwork and supervision and performance appraisals. That didn't make any sense. I missed those years. I really d'oh ones where you just sit down on the line and just be us with your buddies and pay somebody money to eat a bug. Wait, Those were the good days. You know, the further you get into your career, the more you maybe get paid, like 20 cents more. How you gotta put up with so much stuff with H R and e r and complaints. And it it becomes so much less about fighting fire than it does about managing people. Well, I love managing people in leading and guiding and taking care of others. God, I miss just the firefighting. Think later in my career that was the tougher part was It's like you don't I feel like you're actually fighting fire anymore. You're putting all these spot fires. I have nothing to do with it. We could all just go back and be rookies again. I think it would serve us all pretty well. Well, thank you for listening to my little flashback to my early career pieces and I don't know why I felt the need to share that. I just couldn't believe that I found it. And I felt like it was so connected to my life in the last few years, and it's kind of crazy to imagine I just kind of had a flashback about when I wrote it. And I think I was a day when I was on Mammoth Ski Patrol and I was sitting in the lodge. I think I had large duty that day to take in the injuries that walked in, and I kind of remember now writing it, waiting for the next season. Well, thank you. Thanks for taking this memory dog back with me and just to repeat the last sentence. And to think that this is what I was envisioning in my first years and what I am preaching so hard now in my later years to all those women out there, Don't let those guys get you down and guys, don't underestimate the women you work beside. Give them a chance. They could surprise you with that. You guys choose the hard right over easy silence and have an excellent day